Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
BRING THE BAGELS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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