Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
