Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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