i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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