Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
