I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
