Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
