my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
