His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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