you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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