Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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