Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
