i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
