whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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