I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
