I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
