he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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