I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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