why didn't you poke me back
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
