I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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