his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
