someone threw a dead crab at me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
