Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
jump out the window naked night went bad
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