My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
