If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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