the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
