dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
