im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school