we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?