she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.