After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process