The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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