her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize