i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So vagazzling was a success
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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