Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
