So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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