she was so not down for the gang bang
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
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tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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