Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
