we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She even gives head with a lisp.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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