I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize