Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
wow bdsm is so cute
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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