I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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