but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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