Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize