party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
