It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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