My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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