So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
