NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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