It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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