Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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