I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
