that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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