it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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