office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
