i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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