Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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