I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
