he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
