I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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