I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
