I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
