I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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