Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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