yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
